This article was published (3929 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current. Free Press 101: How we practise journalism.We comply with the Federal Trade Commission 1998 Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). The 4-H Name and Emblem have special protections from Congress, protected by code 18 USC 707. Reference to commercial products or trade names does not imply endorsement by MSU Extension or bias against those not mentioned. This information is for educational purposes only. Quentin Tyler, Director, MSU Extension, East Lansing, MI 48824. Issued in furtherance of MSU Extension work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Michigan State University Extension programs and materials are open to all without regard to race, color, national origin, gender, gender identity, religion, age, height, weight, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, marital status, family status or veteran status. MSU is an affirmative-action, equal-opportunity employer, committed to achieving excellence through a diverse workforce and inclusive culture that encourages all people to reach their full potential. Have you ever thought, “Gee, I think I just said that,” when it felt like someone was arguing their point of view with you? It can be positive for people to think about solutions to interpersonal conflicts instead of focusing on a “my opinion versus yours” type of situation. Use neutral language, or err on the side of more positive statements.Ĭonsider reframing a complaint of “I'm sick and tired doing all the work on this project” to “I'm hearing that you would really like other people to share the work and be equal partners on this project.” ![]() Reframe: A KEY opportunity to describe what you believe the other person really wants, which can lead to thinking about constructive solutions to problems. Use phrases like: “it sounds like you feel,” or “I believe that you feel…” This can confirm the other’s feelings in the context of the discussion, and often helps them to move on and pursue constructive solutions to the conflict. Summarize: Paraphrase what you have heard, including any emotion that you feel in the other person’s message. Begin with phrases like: “I hear you saying,” “so I think you are saying,” or “you believe that…” This helps the other person know you have heard them and do understand what they are trying to say. Paraphrase: Use your own words to state what you think the other person meant. This shows that you are listening to what is being said. Restate: Repeat what you have just heard, using words very close to those just spoken. ![]() The skills are simple, yet very powerful when used correctly. What do these terms really mean, and how can you practice these “active listening” skills? You do not have to be in conflict to practice these skills – use them with your next conversation, whether at work or at home. In the Michigan State University Extension Soothing Conflict Smoothies program, additional active listening skills include summarizing and reframing. Listen for signs of emotions and feelings that may be involved. Use honest questions to learn additional facts and details about the situation. Pay attention to the points being made, instead of mentally preparing your response. ![]() Focus on the words as stated in order to really comprehend what is being said. It is critical to pay attention to the other person when they are talking. The ability to listen and hear what another person is saying is essential to working through conflict.Īs defined in Wikipedia, active listening is “a communication technique used in counselling, training and conflict resolution, which requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties.” ![]() If we improve our personal listening and communication skills, we will better understand other’s perspectives, emotions and needs.
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